I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
