you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
