The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
