I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
