How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
