Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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