and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
