I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my poor anus
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
