put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize