Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
