we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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