Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus