Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with