Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
