You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
