Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
