I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize