i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
