Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Two words: blizzard sex
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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