So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
