come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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