it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
