one two three fourrrrnication!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
