Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
