My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
