I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
