Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
