So many bounce houses so little time
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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