they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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