i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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