Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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