she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Alive.
So much puke
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
