I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I have post one night stand depression
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