Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize