It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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