lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have fence marks all over my body
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
