shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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