they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
