I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
