if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
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I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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