Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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