he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I currently don't understand fingers.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
