Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
