How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
