Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
