i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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