GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
