i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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