I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
