it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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