Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
