My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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