Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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