Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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