Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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