508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
