Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
