Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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