I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
