Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
