If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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